June 30, 2011
Hey! So Sarah and I are thinking of squeezing in a Friends of Filly tour before the summer passes us by. We will follow the same route as last fall: Seattle, Bellingham, Corvallis, Eugene, Portland. Dates: July 7- 11th. More details to follow.
Do you live in one of these towns? Would you like to host a gathering? I will invade your home for 4 hours and leave you with a Filly item of your choosing.
June 26, 2011
Luke, my oft-mentioned boyfriend, is on tour with his band AU. Here they are playing The Bamboo Room in Calgary, AB.
I am so fascinated by this aspect of his life. Because he and I are so compatible and generally spend our time walking the dog and watching MadMen, I am always shocked to remember that he “goes on the road”. Sometimes for months at a time when he is promoting an album. From the stories I’ve heard, I don’t think I’d like touring. 1. A lot of driving. 2. Staying up super late. 3. Not knowing where you will sleep that night. Yep, not fun. But he loves it! He transforms! He becomes what he is meant to be. Watching him, you are filled with joy. And not simply because the music is good. You love how much Luke loves giving it to you.
June 25, 2011
What a girl dinner. The menu… salad, chips, strawberries, and almond cake. We were chatting it up, having a lovely time, when I spot Olive, Sarah’s cat, hauling something in from the alley. She was struggling to lift her head high enough to carry the body. And still she managed to obscure her prey until the last second when she emerged from behind the wheelbarrow and dropped the item next to our table. It was a damn pigeon! What?! Sick! And it was not dead at all. I mean, pigeons are big! But it was suffering. And so Maggie, without even a shudder, lifted the over-sized paving block and dropped it on the body of the bird. What?! Ok, dinner’s over. The whole episode was surreal.
Olive’s catch must be cat lore by now. Cats are giving her a wider birth. I didn’t appreciate the dish she brought to dinner but I did admire her ability to contribute.
June 24, 2011
June 22, 2011
On the night of the Solstice Bello and I slept under the stars. I rode down to Kenya’s house with the bike trailer loaded with a single futon, a quilt, down comforter and Bello balanced on top.
I arranged our temporary home next to the goat pen and under a pear tree. I think the goats spent the night staring at us. This is what they saw.
There is nothing on this earth like the smell of Bello’s little head.
June 21, 2011
I want to keep a bit of New Mexico in me as I step back into my life here in Portland.
In Villanueva there was literally nothing I had to do. There was nothing to do period. I was at the end of a dirt road in the middle of rough and unwelcoming country. If I rose early I could walk to the bridge before it got too hot. A couple of days I managed to place pressure on myself to”get this done every morning” and would feel guilty if I slept in. But other than that… my list for the perfect day was short and fundamental. Shower, eat, poop, read, talk to my Grandma. Maybe meditate. Maybe yoga. They day felt very long and so I tended to retire at 10 or so. And yet, despite not “accomplishing” much, I felt supremely content and satisfied. I don’t understand yet but I know that is a thread worth following.
Shit, I can already feel it slipping away…
June 20, 2011
June 20, 2011
June 15, 2011
June 13, 2011
I am flying to New Mexico today. Years ago my Grandma became utterly enchanted with a piece of land near Las Vegas, NM. She and my Uncle commissioned local builders to construct an adobe house, a large one-room thick-walled home with a wrap-around patio and outdoor cooking fire. She spends the later Spring and early Summer months here, sitting and watching the landscape. This year we are joining her. My Dad, Bonnie, my sister and Nathen and the girls, and me.
I am told it is 85 and hot. There is a river to swim in. I had to dig through old belts and shoelaces but I finally found my bathing suit. It looked so tiny and I am so white.
It is still raining in Portland.
June 6, 2011
I feel so lucky. I have a sister that I think of as me, only with a separate mouth and a better perspective. I can ask this other me what I should do and she will tell me, exactly, what that is. And she does it with such conviction and force that there is no part of me left wondering if she’s right.
Because she is in the field of child psychology she often is asked parenting related questions through her blog Feeleez. If I had a child I would stay with her and learn her ways before trying it on my own. She is that good at parenting.
But I don’t have a child and so I bombard her with questions related to love and purpose. And she tells me what’s up. And she could tell you what’s up too. Call her for a new perspective and some really sound, directed, kind but forceful advice. On anything. Just click here. But you can’t have her, ok? I’m only sharing for a little while.
June 6, 2011
My toe is fucked up.
Luke and I went to the coast on Saturday afternoon. We had a wonderful day laying on the sand and dozing and feeling our way along the water’s edge. At night we made a fire and roasted Safeway sausages for the fun and challenge of the activity more than the taste. We star watched and talked feverishly of space and all the potential above our heads (I’ve been reading Greg Bear’s sci-fi trilogy Eon). It was late and we were both sleepy but we decided to roll a big log closer to our bed to make it even more cozy. And well, hell. The log pivoted and crushed the top of my foot ripping the big toenail off. Off! All the way! I didn’t even know this could happen and I went into shock and could barely handle myself. Luke drove us home in the middle of the night. He drew a bath and re-bandaged my toe while I averted my eyes and submerged my ears so that all I could hear was the tub. He made a bed on the floor so that I could sleep unencumbered. I was clean, at home, with a cared-for toe and Bello at my hip. I mourned the loss of my nail but I hailed the gift that is Luke.
June 3, 2011
The Victory Suit is my favorite item from the Spring 2011 collection. A sleeper hit. It almost didn’t make it. In fact, I give all the credit to my stepmom Bonnie. I was just finishing the patterns and she suggested I make a long Gifted Jumper. Why not, she said.
So glad I did. VS + new hair cut = Esprit back when they were the shit.
June 3, 2011
Life is on Bello’s terms right now. He does what he pleases, when he pleases, and with whom. Although the whom remains a mystery because when he’s doing his thing, he prefers me not to come. Like, for instance, the other day when I was hanging my show and I looked down and found the floor unoccupied. Apparently he had spent the last hour cruising on Alberta Street while people strolled and window shopped.
Apparently when I’m busy is when he feels free to “step out”. Most of the time this is just annoying and kinda gross considering what he finds out there. But not scary. Not dangerous. Yesterday was different. I really could not find him. I walked, I biked, I drove a wider and wider range, calling, hooting and clapping my hands. I checked the college, the high school and the alleys because I know that’s where the best treats are. No Bello. No Bello for hours!
I finally “found” him two blocks from home. Suddenly there he was, head down, ambling along. I pulled up in the car and vomited his name: BELLO! loudly, forcefully, gutterly, choking on my rage, fear, relief and desire to touch his little face. I folded over him, kissed his eyes and his smooth nose and then loaded him into the mini van and drove around the corner to our house. My tears seemed to have made an impact. He looked concerned. But I am not confidant enough to recycle the flyers. I don’t like life on Bello’s terms! It is slower and stinkier and makes me feel left out.