Practical Romantic

February 25, 2010

Mary and I started to watch a movie last night but ended up talking instead. And we realized that there is a romantic element in women that perhaps does not exist in men… I know, totally incorrect gender politics and a broad generalization but honestly, this is what nighttime, couch time, girl time sounds like. We realized that we are always romanticizing someone. Always. A name is always at the ready. Even if we have been single for years and have not met anyone notable in all that time- it will be the last boyfriend in that case. Or even if we are casually dating someone who is not “the one” or even “the one for now”, he is still the one to analyze, wish had called, emailed or texted. The need for someone to think about is so strong that it outweighs the actual subject. Who he is does not matter so much. Because the alternative- no one in the slot- is much worse. It is so unbearably flat, boring, bleak, lonely, that we are willing to let anyone fill the void. Fine. He’ll do. But he is only a place holder so don’t be dissappointed when he does not meet your needs or provide fulfillment. Reserve your big feelings for actual, tangible, physical, consuming love. In the meantime, thank the place holder for keeping the seat warm.

And boys… maybe don’t do this? Boys can just wake up and go about their day and go to sleep without a deep sigh and at least some reference in that night’s journal entry? And if this is the case, that explains a lot.


2 Responses to “Practical Romantic”

  1. maggie said

    Oh, too true.
    Also, will you tell me your favorite fashion blogs? I know you read Sartorialist…

  2. kt said

    This post was so fitting for a conversation my friends and I have been having this week. It has focused on the difference in the level of connection we have with our close friends vs. our romantic endeavors. So often we meet someone we connect with on a very deep level – each person just “gets” one another. For some reason this person becomes a close friend vs a new relationship. We develop a deep level of intimacy minus the romance. In contrast, we tend to hold back in romantic endeavors and date people who may not be the best fit. We yearn for the kind of connection we have with our friends plus the romance and physical intimacy yet don’t always hold up this standard when dating. So the question arises, why? The obvious first response is fear. But I’m sure it goes further than that. In the meantime, it has helped me remember how important my friends are to me. They are my soulmate(s).

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