January 24, 2011

Recently quiet a few people have decided to move from Portland. I don’t like it. I want everyone to stay.

I want to invest in you and for you to return the investment by continuing to share your life with me- intimately, with eye contact, with an embrace, with my chin resting on your shoulder. I really like you and so I listen to why you need to go. Some of these reasons are sound. And because this topic- the topic of place and community- is an emotional one for me, I start to question my reasons for being here. I start to feel anxious, flighty, insecure about staying…

I took a walk and stopped along a lake to listen to the waterfowl. I stood there long enough to be forgotten by the birds and they returned to their loud and heartfelt conversation. What a beautiful sound. And I realized, with a strength of conviction I was not fully aware I had, that I like Oregon. A lot. And there are so many things I like about it that I can’t even list them off. I feel good here and I feel good staying here. And those that stay here with me also like Oregon a lot and therefore, are also a good fit for me. So I am practicing staying clear, holding still and letting it all unfold while still hoping that those same people who need to go, will one day need to return.


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