Independents

January 29, 2011



Thank you. I feel good again.
That was just one person’s opinion but it dodged my defenses and dampen my spirits. That person’s voice joined the choir of voices that permanently live in my head. They became louder, they were emboldened by this recent addition to their gang, they began to gain control. You’re right, time to get down to business. Head hung low. Guilt.

And then you showed up. You with your strong voices and hot opinions. I feel you around me, your chest to my back, the heat of your breath, your heartbeats are loud. Rawr! Together we are a force! Grow up? Oh yeah? Take this, and this, Kapow!, Blam! Wham-o!
I know this is not a conventional life I am living. I am lucky to have a job and I am lucky to work for myself. But I am also totally broke- because I work for myself and have days when I go to the river or journal about ditching my job instead of working. But we are all free to make the choices that work for our independent lives. Thank god because I would have been a terrible lawyer.

“I think it’s quite generous that you are willing to explore those feelings in a public forum–In addition to being very interesting, I’m sure your post has validated the conflicted emotions of many artisans.”

“I believe voicing your inner thoughts is brave. You remind me time and again I am not alone and that gives me such much needed endurance to keep going on being an “adult”.

“*Some* people grow up, toe the line, do what they need to do in order to support themselves and their families, and still feel tired and run-down and dissatisfied by their jobs every now and then.”

“We can’t all be happy happy joy joy every minute of our lives. If we were, we wouldn’t truly appreciate the good times, or how the not so good times help us grow.”

“I am so done with feeling insecure and ashamed of emotions. So should you. Keep sharing your fantasy and reality, I love them both!”

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