Day of Fertility

April 24, 2011

Wow. I have a lot of emotions coming together. Suddenly my heart is full of big feelings after many months of relative calm. This is the day of fertility and I am very aware of the various lives I have led. I have been teetering on the fringes of a prior life for some time now. It is easy, and so comforting, to gaze lovingly on those dimmed stories. And to use them as a shield to keep at bay whatever might come next. Because I am profoundly afraid of the next life. I can barely look it in the eye. Now that shield is crumbling in my hands.
Gosh. See! I’m totally spun out. And I leave for Santa Cruz tomorrow where everything originates.
“Don’t cry because it is over.
Smile because it happened.”
Dr. Seus


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