Home Safely

November 26, 2011

My landlord came over, I explained at Thanksgiving Dinner. That’s why I’m a bit late. She came by to give me a book by Louise Hay called You Can Heal Your Life. It contains a very useful reference list of illness and the mental patterns that cause them. My top three ailments – abdominal cramps, anxiety and asphyxiating attacks all indicated fear. The curing mantra she suggests is “I trust the process of life. I am safe. It is safe to grow-up.” Yesterday I truly embraced that sentiment. I trusted. The process of my life has been sound, my decisions solid, my intuition reliable, my heart full, my mind calm. It was safe to grow up. And so I accepted the gift that sat alongside the book. I signed the papers and bought this house. While Van Morrison wailed on the turntable, my pen glided easily above the black line. Purchaser.

Laura and I negotiated the sale over five emails. We did not include realtors or lawyers but we did include each other. I would write, “Ok, so I’m hung up on two things….” and she would give a little and explain why she couldn’t give more. And I bent a little to meet her, and she tipped a little more toward me and then we touched! And hugged and squealed and I was late for Thanksgiving Dinner.

I have struggled with this decision. Where, when and which house? And what would I have to leave behind to move forward?
Now I know. I don’t need to leave anything at all. I was home all along.

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