My Love For You is 3000 Miles Wide.

January 9, 2012

I don’t know what I can say about all of this. But I do know that my heart wants to unburden itself of the sadness and pain now associated with that little face. Soupy Muir. Jeez, I can barely write.
Soupy belongs to Josh, in the same way that he belongs to her. They are in love with each other. And so inseparable that I did not, could not, was not even allowed to consider, taking her with me when I left. Even though it broke my heart to leave her.
3000 miles now separate us, on these last days.
I am always aware of this distance but never more so than now. Soupy is dying. And Josh is wreaked. But he will give her everything that she needs, even a swift and painless death when that time comes. I strain toward them, stretching my heart across the distance, touching his back with the palm of my hand, whispering into her shiny black fur, oh Soupy, you’re so soft.

When I think of Soupy, I will not remember this time. I will remember a little jet of black, faster, smarter, more agile than any other dog on the beach. I will remember her racing ahead of the bikes, tongue lolling to one side, eyes wild as she proudly looks back at us over her left shoulder. I will remember meeting her for the first time. It seemed she was no more than six inches wide but tall for her age. She sat and stared at us and I heard her voice, her measured, Gothic, droll teenage voice say “Hello Parents.” Well, hello Soupy, and goodbye my love. My love. My love. My love.


One Response to “My Love For You is 3000 Miles Wide.”

  1. Sarah said

    I am so, so sorry. Incredibly poignant goodbye to your family.

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