Just A Dog

January 13, 2012

I have been walking around in a fog. Slack face, dull eyes, lots of sighing. I can’t say that I give a shit about anything other than the ongoing saga surrounding the dogs. And yet, I am aware that if someone asked me what was wrong, why tears were streaming down my face in yoga or why I haven’t called back in weeks, I would hesitate to say that all of this sadness and grief and utter despondency…was over a dog. Not a person. An animal. Am I overreacting? Am I overindulging? I mean, dogs are awesome but are they worth all of this? Are they worthy?
Today I walked on the treadmill at the Rec Center. On my way home I thought about stopping by the grocery store for cashews but I had been away from Bello for an hour and wanted to see him as soon as I could. I have felt this way every day for the last twelve years. I am happiest in his presence. I am stilled. And so I made lunch at home and we walked to the park. I ate, he sniffed the air. I read, he dozed. The day was blue and cold and we both noticed. This book is so good I said and he looked at me in response. He simply accepted this information without comment. He mentioned feeling a bit snacky even though he just ate lunch. I nodded that I was not surprised and smiled at his predictability. We ambled home, each of us keeping the other’s forelegs within our peripheral vision.
Just a dog. True. Just a goddamn good dog.


One Response to “Just A Dog”

  1. Lisa said

    Hi Emily, I’ve been following your blog for a bit and not only do I enjoy your writing (and, vicariously, your life in Portland–a city I called home for 3 years, back in the ’80s), but also your comments about connection to family, friends, and, yes, dogs. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself, and with such honesty. My best wishes to you and Bello. –Lisa

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