The Way

August 12, 2012

Oh where to start. I am behind on my documentation. The summer distracts me and keeps me from the computer. But more than that, I am just not very dramatic at the moment. My insides are very calm. My mind is quiet. I am simple and enjoying my life, my blessed life full of many homes and rich memories and dear attachments and fresh starts. Right now the fresh start slot is filled with three soft little faces. I recently (yesterday? can that be possible?) returned from Missoula where my sister and her family live. My mom and I surprised her again and once again she was utterly speechless. I’m amazed when my sister fails to read my mind. I’m serious.
So I went, I rode a tandem bicycle with my mom perched on the back, I ate a lot of peanut butter cups, I was a maid in a precious ceremony, I fixed dinner elbow to elbow with my sister, I felt patient and peaceful and satisfied. And before I knew it the week was over and I was hugging the girls goodbye, I was collecting my heart which had lodged so contentedly in the brown skinned body of my sister, I was flying, an hour, a half hour, and down, back to Portland. It’s unnerving to feel so good in the company of children. I can still hear their voices. It is haunting in a pleasant way.
So I lied, I don’t feel simple. I feel conflicted- no, I feel like a ghost. My body is here but my soul is still in Missoula hoping to feel a little hand on my arm, loving those girls more than I knew I was capable of.

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