Secret Santa Goodies!

December 30, 2012

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I feel a little sheepish. I seriously tore into this shit last night even though three of my packages will not arrive at their destinations until next week. I couldn’t help it, I got a craving. And that craving was satisfied! The gifts are amazing! A hand-formed bowl, a cribbage set, a necklace, soft leather gloves, an art-deco patterned hand-knit scarf, amazing sun and moon delicately forged earrings, yummy treats, vanilla salt, and a tiny leather pouch that now contains loose elastic ties that I need and lose every day. Slacks received two cat nip triangles. He dosed and performed skate-boarding tricks against the back of the couch for hours.
Maybe next year our animals should do the Secret Santa. First they would need to get to know each other through a pen-pal exchange. “Slacks! I like scratching! I like chasing the hens around the yard! I wear a gray sweater!It’s a v-neck!”

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Bday Wish

December 29, 2012

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All I want is to know, deep down, that I already have it.
And not to worry about the rest.

A, B, _, D, E, F

December 26, 2012

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The holidays have come and gone. I might have missed them. Where am I these days?

Sarah and I hosted a Xmas Eve gathering, reprising last year’s role as stand-in parents for those that could not make it home. I made truffles with Mexican chocolate and salt. Sarah cooked everything else. That night I slept soundly and dreamt that Mary, the woman who manages my production, was actually my biological mother. She told me she loved me but no sound came out. Or perhaps I simply could not hear it.

And now we’re on the other side. A normal day. Expectations abound! I am behind on everything but I blame it all on the Secret Santa project. Five boxes full of goodies are heading out tomorrow. For those two ladies that live in Portland, I will make the deadline of the 27th. Um, for everyone else, it’s gonna be a bit late. But worth it! I spent many hours cultivating each box so that when opened they will surprise and delight. So much love from me to you.

Mother

December 10, 2012

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My mom was in town last week. How I looked forward to her arrival! And how I despaired when I then found myself in a foul mood.
I regret every single moment where I could have been more patient and kind with her, when I caused her to feel unloved. She is overwhelmed by trying to give me what I am asking for. She is only trying to follow my lead and yet I consistently run ahead, just out of reach. When I wait, it is often only to scold.
After she left I hung my head. I asked for her forgiveness and of course, she gave it without hesitation or blame. Her heart embraces us both. She is still the mother, I am still the child.

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