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June 11, 2013

The last time I noticed this was when I dropped out of law school and became a bike messenger. “I’m happy” I wrote in my journal with a star at the top of the page and a reference guide inside the front cover “You are happy, 6-15-99”
On that day, it says, “I rode all day”,
When I left law school I ceased to worry about returning an email or writing a paper or standing (sitting most likely) helplessly by as my body spread and softened. I ceased to worry about deadlines and pleasing people and making money. I have never been a good employee- too opinionated, too concerned with my own pleasurable experience. I am a better boss. And ideally I am a boss of no one but myself. No one above, no one below, just my body and a task.

How similar these days feel. Richly physical, mentally challenging, creative,
practical- important. My famous to-do list contains one word: work. At night I lay down with tight muscles and a slack mind. I deserve to rest and sleep soundly.
I love moving my body. The more I move the happier I am.
Star this page.
I was happy on 6-11-13.
I sanded the floors all day.

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